I Do Take Two | Getting Married Second Time

by Angela

Planning questions for the remarrying bride. Second marriages are happy new beginnings. While many traditional wedding rituals apply to the remarrying bride (yes, you can register for gifts, have a shower, and wear white at the altar), the most important thing is to plan an event that reflects your personal style.

Do You Want to do Everything the Same Way?

There is a possibility that you might have missed your first marriage in a traditional style in church with a long white dress or complete with attendants.

Did Someone Else Run the Show the First Time Around?

This may be the way to get your long-awaited wedding. You should consult every part of your wedding with your fiance like music, vows, menus, scripture, etc, which will help you to decide what will make you happy.

Did the Style of Your First Wedding Reflect Your Tastes?

If so, feel free to celebrate in a similar way. Do not, however, return to the same reception site or repeat any unusual personal touches, like readings or songs, that you used in your first wedding. This is a time for looking forward not back.

Do You Want to Invite 50 or More Guests?

If so, you should choose attendants and ushers (at least one usher for every 50 guests). You can marry anywhere—in a church, synagogue, large hall, restaurant, or club.

Do You Want to Find A Special Role for Your Children?

If either of you are blessed with kids you should include them in a ceremony which will make them feel part of the celebrations. If either of you has kids, including them in the ceremony will make them feel a part of the celebration. Teens can be junior bridesmaids or junior ushers. Young girls can be flower girls; little boys can be ring bearers or pages. If you are planning a very small ceremony, you might simply have them walk you down the aisle or stand with you at the altar. If your children express a preference not to participate, respect their wishes. (Let your ex-spouse know of any plans involving children whose custody you share.)

Are You Still Close to Your Former In-Laws and Ex-Spouse?

If you’re on good terms with your in-laws, you may want to invite them, though you are not obligated to do so, nor are they expected to attend. An ex-spouse would rarely be invited—consider the feelings of your children and your fiancé. If you do invite an ex-spouse, you leave him the choice of refusing the invitation and looking bad or accepting the invitation and feeling bad. It may be wiser to invite him to dinner with your family after the honeymoon.

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